Babel Machine

One of the inevitabilities of owning a computer is that performance will suffer over time. A speedy system can end up slowing to a crawl after a few months of adding new hardware, installing and uninstalling software, as well as general use.

Vista has a number of tools that can help maintain the performance of your computer. By using them regularly, you can keep your computer healthy and reduce the risk of crashes and data loss. A computer’s hard disk is among its most important components, so it will come as no surprise that the majority of maintenance tools included in Vista focus on cleaning up the disk and reorganising files so they can be accessed quickly and easily. Luckily, some maintenance tasks can be scheduled to happen automatically.

Read on to find out how to keep your Vista PC happy.

Tip 1 – Physical errors on your hard disk can not only lead to Windows crashing, but can also result in data loss. Should an area of the disk become corrupt, any data saved to it becomes unstable. Thankfully, Vista’s built-in Check Disk can be used to test the drive for errors in the way files are stored and move information out of any bad sectors. Go to Start > Computer, right-click on the icon for your hard drive and select Properties. Move to the Tools Tab and click the Check Now button. Tick both of the boxes and click Start. If you are checking the drive that has Windows installed on it, you will need to click the ‘Schedule disk check’ button and then restart your computer for the scan to continue.

Tip 2 – Although hard disks now have hue capacities, it is still a good idea to keep as much free space available as possible. As well as manually deleting files you no longer need, the Disk Cleanup tool can remove other unnecessary files. Click the Start button, then All Programs. From the Accessories menu select System Tools, then Disk Cleanup. Click the option ‘Files from all users on this computer’, then select the drive to be checked before clicking OK. Move to the More Options tab and you can start freeing up disk space by uninstalling programs you no longer need, as well as removing all but the most recent of System Restore points.

Tip 3 – This done, return to the Disk Cleanup tab and a list of unnecessary files in various categories will be listed. The different types of file are easy enough to identify, but after selecting an item in the list, you can click the View Files button to check anything you are not sure about. Work through the list of options and tick the box next to the relevant entry, then click the OK button to start the removal process. This will not remove all the temporary files completely, and if you want to do this press the Windows key and R simultaneously, type %temp%, press Enter and delete all the files in the folder that opens.

Tip 4 – It’s possible to store your Disk Cleanup settings. Click the Start button, type cleanmgr.exe /Sageset:100 (where 100 is any number between 0 and 65535) and choose your options. You will notice a number of other options are now available. Click OK. Now click the Start button, then All Programs, then Accessories. From the System Tools menu select Task Scheduler. Click ‘Create Basic Task’, enter a name and description, and click Next. Set your scheduling options. In the Action section, type cleanmgr.exe in the Program/script box and /Sagerun:100 (or the number you previously used) in the Arguments box.

Tip 5 – When creating and deleting files, your computer can become so disorganised that files take longer to open. By defragmenting the hard disk, files are reorganised so that all their component parts are next to each other on the drive, thus improving performance. Go to Start > Computer, right-click the icon for your hard disk, select Properties, then go to the Tools tab. Click the Defragment now button, followed by ‘Defragment now’ and your drive will be optimised. The defragmentation tool can also be accessed by clicking the Start button, followed by All Programs, then Accessories, then System Tools, followed by Disk Defragmenter.

Tip 6 – Remembering to defragment your disk regularly can be difficult, but it is possible to create a schedule so that the tools will run without the need for user intervention. Launch the disk Defragmenter. On the first screen make sure the option labelled ‘Run on a schedule (recommended)’ is ticked. Click the Modify Schedule button, then use the dropdown menu to choose how frequently the tool should be run. Most people will not need to defragment more than once a month, but if you create and delete a large number of files, weekly runs may help to maintain peak performance.

Bento 2

The second release of FileMaker’s friendly, Mac OS X-only database product adds a few new simple tweaks, including RSS and Apple Mail integration.
Pros: Bento’s biggest plus is that it’s a genuinely easy-to-use database product, with little to no knowledge of forms, relational database or programming required. It’s also aesthetically very nice, right out of the box.
Cons: It’s OS X only – FileMaker does its main database product in a Windows version, but not Bento. In some ways, this is a bit of a ‘point’ release of the product, as the new features aren’t that great, and could have arguably been included in a patch.
Rating: 3.5/5 – A great, easy-to-use database product for Mac users.

Acronis True Image 2009

Acronis True Image 2009

Backup software is just about the most dull software on the planet, but with the increasing amount of digital data we possess these days, it’s also quite vital. Acronis’ True Image 2009 offers the ability to back up your entire PC – or just selected folders.

Pros: New improvements include a very Vista-looking interface and a slick text search ability. One new feature I liked was that after the initial installation, Acronis sets up a simple one-click backup of your existing system, with all the necessary files pre-selected for you.

Cons: As with a lot of backup utilities, initial backup can be rather slow

Rating: 4/5 - A solid backup utility

Avanquest Fix it Utilities 8

Avanquest Fix-it Utilities 8

Fix-it Utilities doesn’t shirk when it comes to offering features – it’s a registry cleaner, Windows system tweaker, anti-virus/spyware package, startup manager and file recovery tool – or rather, a suite of tools.

Pros: The default install offers a three-user license, so it’s easy to keep an entire houseful of PCs covered. The range of utilities offered is impressive, but not overwhelming, as it’s easy to do a one-click security or system stability check and update.

Cons: With that much to do, it’s perhaps not surprising that Fix-it Utilities can be slow to run through its tasks. If you’re already using an anti-virus package, you’ll have to remember not to install that component, but if you do, you’ll need to keep it updated for it to have any relevance.

Rating: 4/5 – A good overall package, if no the fastest available.

Iolo System Mechanic Professional

Iolo System Mechanic Professional

Like Fix-it Utilities 8, System Mechanic promises to make your PC run a lot more smoothly, although in System Mechanic’s case, it’s through a number of rather more in-depth utilities, including anti-virus, firewall, file recovery and drive deleting utilities.

Pros: It’s comprehensive, and covers some factors other utilities leave out, including in-depth hard drive deletion utilities.

Cons: The firewall is very chatty, as is the anti-virus package. You can opt not to install them, but then you may find yourself better served by the standard utility, which is $69.95. Some of the vendor claims, such as the ability to “Accelerate download and Web surfing speeds up to 300%” are pure snake oil.

Rating: 3/5 – A decent suite of utilities, but a little overhyped.

One thing Vista has in common with its Windows XP heritage is its fairly average ability to handle different audio and video files. While it’s happy to play Microsoft’s own Windows Media Audio (WMA) and Windows Media Video (WMV) files straight out of the box, get any version of Vista to try and handle anything exotic like H.264 video or Vorbis audio and it all goes sour.
The Ultimate version of Vista is capable of playing DVD movies without any trouble, but even this top-drawer version of Vista can’t do everything.

Here are 2 free media players for vista with which you can play almost any media file

Ffdshow To The Rescue
However, there’s a special software package called Ffdshow, which fixes everything in one hit. It’s what is called a ‘video decoding filter’, which basically means that it handles a wide range of audio and video compression formats or ‘codecs’ and allows Windows Media Player to play them rather than just telling you it needs to look for (and seemingly never finds) the codec online.

Ffdshow works exceptionally well in Windows XP and it also does the job nicely in all versions of Vista – from Basic through to Ultimate.
All you need to do is download the software, install it into your Vista PC and you’re done. It automatically links into Vista so that when any media player (not just Windows Media Player) gets set to play a video or audio file, Ffdshow lines up the correct codec so that your file plays.

Media Player Classic

Media Player Classic for Vista
However, while Vista comes with Windows Media Player, it’s not the only choice you have when it comes to media players. Back in the days of Windows 98, Microsoft’s Windows Media Player was a lean, simple player that did much the same thing as the current Windows Media Player 11, but without all the extra fluff.
While Microsoft abandoned the older player in favour of newer versions, a keen band of developers has taken the original interface and beefed it up with clever and useful new features, releasing it as Media Player Classic (MPC). If you’re finding that Vista’s Windows Media Player won’t touch your file, even with Ffdshow installed, try playing it with Media Player Classic.
To get MPC to show your videos in full-screen mode (without any Windows borders), just double-click on the video screen window. You can double-click on it again to go back to a Windows view.
There are many different video and audio formats available on the Internet. Installing Ffdshow is the ideal way to ensure that Vista can play anything you throw at it.
Adjusting The Aspect Ratio In MPC
Aspect ratio in video means the ratio between the width and height of the video image you look at. Old tube TVs had an aspect ratio of 4:3, whereas today’s new LCD and plasma TVs have an aspect ratio of 16:9. If you’re watching a video with MPC and it looks too tall or too squished, you can adjust the aspect ratio by going to MPC’s menu and selecting view -> Video Frame ->Override Aspect Ratio, and selecting from the options in the list.

If you happen to be a hardcore programmer and think that you’ve indeed mastered all the programming languages then just hold on! I guess you should have a good look at the Top 10 most Weirdest Programming Languages, which you probably might not have even come across. Each one of them is unique, and has some mind boggling stuff associated with it.

These languages are often referred to as esoteric programming languages, which have been designed with the intent of complicating things and amusing the users rather than simplifying it.

1.    Brainfuck

It was the invention of Urban Müller, designed to realize its implementation in the smallest possible compiler, and his master-plan came into existence in 1993.

Known for its extreme minimalism, and controversial name, Bf comprises of only 8 commands +-. <>, [] and is practically useless, however recently few decoders have been designed to render it useful enough.

Examples- Hello World!

++++++++++                    initialises cell zero to 10
[
>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<<<<-
]                                 this loop sets the next four cells to 70/100/30/10
>++.                             print   ‘H’
>+.                               print   ‘e’
+++++++.                              ‘l’
.                                    ‘l’
+++.                                  ‘o’
>++.                                  space
<<+++++++++++++++.                ‘W’
>.                                    ‘o’
+++.                                  ‘r’
——.                              ‘l’
——–.                             ‘d’
>+.                                   ‘!’
>.                                    newline

NOTE: Comments have been just provided to make the code readable, however the real code is merely-

++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<<<<]>++.>+.+++++++..+++.>++.<<+++++++++++++++.>.+++.——.——–.>+.>.

So if you think you’re damn good at programming, try printing Hello World in brainfuck within 2minutes just like you do in C, C++, Java, PHP, HTML and other programming languages!

2.    FALSE

It is one of the weirdest programming languages designed, which served as an inspiration for development of other similar esoteric programming languages like Befunge, brainfuck and the likes of them. This language is highly confusing, basically because of its low level Forth programming language like structure, making it hard-to-understand.

For example, to calculate 3 + 1 by evaluating (λ x → x + 1)(3): 3[1+]!

You bet you can never follow it at first shot.

3.    Funge

It is extremely weird because basically the language models programs to be metric spaces attached with a co-ordinate system. One could never imagine that the instruction pointer could be even used in such an unorganized manner. What’s more it has even further developed into Befunge, and there have been several standards defined such as uni-funge for uni-dimensional and so on.

Check this out, and you’re bound to grow some fungus inside your head for sure!

4.    LOLCODE

It is a very funny programming language, basically designed to amuse the users with resemblance of the speech of lolcats. Wondering what is the language all about, and then has a closer look at the “hello world” program:
HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE “HAI WORLD!”
KTHXBYE

Lol yeah, no kidding it prints Hello World!

5.    Chef

This language is more of a cooking recipe rather than a programming language. Just have a look at this statement - Put cinnamon into 2nd mixing bowl!

Clueless what is it all about? Well it is just a statement, which instructs the compiler to push an item onto the stack.

6.    Velato

This one is for the music lovers, as Velato makes use of MIDI files as the input, with each command being determined by the interval between successive notes.

7.    Shakespeare

As it sounds, the language has been deliberately tweaked to frame programs resemble the plays of Shakespeare

How about this statement- Act I: Hamlet’s insults and flattery… It actually serves as declaration of a point in program, reachable via a GOTO-type statement.

8.    Whitespace

One of the most idiotic ones, which comprises of just the letter A, accompanied by commas, spaces and exclamations! It takes just the whitespaces into account, ignoring the non-whitespaces

9.    TRUE

It happens to be another weird one, which is basically a kind of mutation of FALSE. However, FALSE is rather structured, and TRUE just like its counter part (as its name suggests clearly) lacks variables, and features hardly few string manipulations etc.

10.    Intercal

Compiler Language With No Pronounceable Acronym, INTERCAL was the end result of exceptional work by James M. Lyon & Donald R. Woods, who came up with a programming language in 1972, which was totally different from all other programming languages. You can’t make head or tail out of it, except the binary numbers, which wouldn’t even make much of sense to you!